To Feel So Unworthy
September 12, 2025
Reprinted from Aug. 22, 2025 issue of the Messenger
An 11-year-old girl received good news! She had been waiting a long time. A foster family chose her and are pursuing her adoption.
She was living in DCCH residential for nearly a year. She and other friends in her apartment seek a fighting chance to live a healthier and happier life.
The couple inquired about adoption months earlier. They had no children, a mature couple, financially secure, owning a nice home on many acres. They work from home and enjoy the animals and livelihood they created. Can they qualify, is there a need to offer an older child a home and could DCCH help facilitate? These were their questions. YES, YES, and YES was my loud resounding response!
After attending training and successfully completing the home study process the match was presented to them. After much prayer, discernment and a series of meetings and visitations, (Abby I will call her) moved into their home in May.
Abby was far behind in her education. Her past neglect and trauma had significantly hindered her learning. She could not understand basic math and she still did not know her full alphabet, the sounds or names.
All summer she had the full attention of this generous couple. They found help to provide additional tutoring. Abby has mastered the alphabet and cried when she successfully read a simple book cover to cover. We are so proud of her accomplishments and the potential that is becoming more apparent.
The story is on a beautiful trajectory, but Abby came back to DCCH for a therapy session, and it tore her up emotionally. Why the reaction? She finally blurted out the questions burning in her soul. “Why Me?” she asked them. “Are you sure?” There are 31 other children at DCCH. “They are more worthy than I” she said.
Abby feels so unworthy. Her life experiences contradict the love, help and kindness she is experiencing. She can’t understand and deep down she believes she is undeserving. No doubt this message was reinforced by parental abandonment and unfortunately prior adults meant to care for her.
We pray Abby discovers God’s infinite love and meaning for her existence. It may take years to fully accept this new identity. It will require her new mom and dad’s unwavering and unconditional love, with more prayers. Celebrating her 12th birthday with a special meal, her first vacation to the beach and first airplane trip; more great memories to cherish.
I was inspired by Father Mike Schmitz recent post and thought of Abby. Father elaborated on the Sign of the Cross. We as Catholic Christians know this gesture and often perform out of habit probably. Let us contemplate the meaning. We first proclaim the Trinity, open hand touching or thumb and two fingers touching our forehead, heart and shoulders. Open hand is a blessing posture, or three digits remind us again of the Trinity and from whom we seek a blessing.
What are we worth? What is our price tag? The sign tells us we are worth the life and death of Jesus on the cross! He created us, wants us to love and serve him and he died and rose for each of us, not collectively but individually. Claim that gift, know it, believe it and live it.
How will Abby ever feel worthy enough? She needs this truth to penetrate her, that she has a personal creator and savior! I am so very grateful for this couple and other foster and adoptive parents who choose to take on this challenge. They give children this message exemplified through their daily actions, prayers, and the sharing of the Gospel of Jesus Christ!
For more information about foster parenting or adoption, call DCCH at 859-331-2040 or search www.dcchcenter.org.